Tips on dating a cop
I have 15 yrs on in the biggest PD & I don't date cops, so I totally understand. It is exactly what you said, a notch on the belt or an intimidation factor.
It's like saying to her, "I really like you, except this one big part of you that happens to be paying the bills." Several officers have explained to me that this makes them feel completely unappreciated, as if what they do as female police officers doesn't count.
They feel that if they were men, they would be considered heroes for their chosen occupation, but as women they are just doing something to upset their partner. For me personally, I was a divorced mom when I became an officer. It felt like men were looking for a challenge or they wanted to be able to put an "X" in the box on their bucket list that reads, "Dated a Cop." Some of our challenges are obvious—we can't date criminals or our bosses, and sometimes these seem to be the only people around.
This is a result of men getting married and no longer dating, older men dating younger women, and the higher male mortality rate.
So by the time a woman reaches her Forties, the pool of men for her to date is considerably smaller.
So we have to make extra efforts to really get out there in the world to meet dateable people. Well, what do you do when you become close to a co-worker and begin a relationship while he is your equal. This has been so stressful and we both have serious stress and anxiety issues from this.